Here is your mother; here is your son: Tuesday, Holy Week Vigil

Woman, behold your son. Son, behold your mother.

Easter, 1996, Laura James

The Third Word: “Woman, behold your son”... and to John: “Behold your mother.”

Read

Now there was a man in Jerusalem whose name was Simeon, and this man was righteous and devout, looking for the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was upon him…. Inspired by the Spirit he came into the temple…when the parents brought in the child Jesus….and Simeon blessed them and said to Mary his mother, “Behold, this child is set for the fall and rising of many in Israel, and for a sign that is spoken against (and a sword will pierce through your own soul also….) —Luke 2: 25,27a,34-35a

While Jesus was still speaking to the people, behold, his mother and his brothers stood outside, asking to speak to him. But he replied to the one who told him, “Who is my mother and who are my brothers?” And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother, and sister, and mother.” —Matthew 12:46-50

Standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother, and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing near, he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son!” Then he said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother!” —John 19:25b-27a

Pray

Jesus, the presence of your mother and your friends at the cross moves our hearts. We recognize that you are not only the Savior dying for the sins of the world. You are also a fully human man, a son with a mother and a man with a friend. Thank you for the good work that you were accomplishing throughout your entire life and even in the hours of your death, putting us together as a family, your church. May we live right now into your good work on the cross, loving and caring for one another as family, like you and your mother and your friend, and like us and your Church. Please let the family of faith encircle us.

We adore you, O Christ, and we bless you because by your holy Cross you have redeemed the world. If we have died with him, we shall also live with him; if we endure, we shall also reign with him. We adore you, O Christ, and we bless you because by your holy Cross you have redeemed the world. Amen.

Listen

Listen to Last Words - a playlist for our Holy Week Vigil

Reflect

Lament Stories Archive

Featured
'Woman, behold thy son! Son, behold thy mother!' by Michelle Van Loon [Holy Week Vigil 2022]
'Woman, behold thy son! Son, behold thy mother!' by Michelle Van Loon [Holy Week Vigil 2022]

But I’ve also seen what it looks like when true community is forged from shared surrender to God, and it has ruined me for ersatz versions. Compelled by the self-giving love of Jesus, it always looks just like one disciple opening the door to another to welcome them in fully and completely as family – because in him, that is what we are meant to be for one another.

'Woman, behold thy son! Son, behold thy mother!' by Todd Hill [Retrieve Lament 2021]
'Woman, behold thy son! Son, behold thy mother!' by Todd Hill [Retrieve Lament 2021]

It was almost a year after Jacob’s sobering request that I saw him for the last time. Rachel and I lifted his frail body into a hospital bed that had been set up in his bedroom. Jacob was unable to do it himself. I stopped and rested my hand on his head, covered with stubble that had begun to grow. Rachel went about the business of organizing the space for Jacob while calmly giving the kids instructions about how they should play in the room where daddy was resting. Of course, Jacob, it will be my great honor to help take care of your wife and children.

Woman, behold your son. Son, behold your mother. Drake Dowsett [Retrieve Lament 2019]
Woman, behold your son. Son, behold your mother. Drake Dowsett [Retrieve Lament 2019]

In the shalom that God designed for his creation, my mother was to be more like Mary, my father was to be more like Joseph, my life was to be more like Jesus’. I look at this passage and this time see how dimly our dingy triptych stands in comparison to the ideal. I can taste the absence of his kingdom and I am hungry for it with a deep ache that cuts back through the years to my earliest memories.

Behold your son: Walter Wittwer [Retrieve Lament]
Behold your son: Walter Wittwer [Retrieve Lament]

"There is something about generational blessing that I think is important. It is a way of passing on something mystical, a deep calling another deep, a spiritual DNA of sorts. I believe all parents should bless their children and, at the proper time, all children should bless their parents. I took it upon myself to bless him whenever I saw him. I secretly hoped that he would bless me in return. And perhaps he has. As I write this, I wonder if perhaps he has. Blessings have a way of boomeranging.”

Retrieve Lament: Alicia Nichols' mourning story
Retrieve Lament: Alicia Nichols' mourning story

And, the number of people who pleaded with the Father for my son (who is currently healthily crying upstairs. His life may be an answer to prayer, but that doesn’t mean he wants to take a nap). When I visited my sister’s church in Austin, TX in January of 2016, nearing 7 months and clearly great with child, the woman who came up to me and put her hand on my belly and said, with boldness, “I am invested in this child!”, I knew without a doubt she and so many others were.

Retrieve Lament: Chris Pousseur ( Woman, behold your son.)
Retrieve Lament: Chris Pousseur ( Woman, behold your son.)

When Max died, we suffered for something. Our suffering was redemption because we did it with our hope in Christ. God redeemed the very act of suffering not by negating it, but by bringing meaning and purpose to it, making it more whole than it was, more complete and holy. When we lost our plans for a future missionary life, I didn't have the faith to believe there was purpose or meaning. In this way, the pain and anguish from this loss quickly overtook my pain for our son. It became the less bearable of the two, and the one I avoided.

Holy Week Lament: Haley Ballast (Woman, behold, your son!)
Holy Week Lament: Haley Ballast (Woman, behold, your son!)

What happens when you find yourself squaring off with an angry toddler trying to cash a massive emotional check from an account with far too few deposits in its balance history? These moments have been peppered throughout Zeke's time in our family, and they have been moments of deep grief for me as a parent. Grief for all that my son lost before he came to us. Grief that my gut reactions to his angry behavior are often selfish and lacking compassion. Grief, and even shame, that I should have to work so hard on something that I feel should come naturally (namely, motherly love and affection). And grief that even after two years in our family, my son is still waiting for the other shoe to drop, still keeping a lookout for the next upheaval, still guarding his heart.

Holy Week Lament: Haley Ballast (Woman, behold, your son!)
Holy Week Lament: Haley Ballast (Woman, behold, your son!)

I was not the first woman to mother my son. Not the first to kiss him goodnight, or comfort him when he cried, or carry him on a hip. I didn't see his first steps, hear his first word, or celebrate his first birthday. By the time I met Zeke, he could kick a soccer ball, drink from a cup, and throw a right wicked tantrum. I had missed a lot.

Daily Lectionary for Holy Week

Read: Psalm 6, 12; Psalm 94; Jeremiah 15:10-21; Philippians 3:15-21; John 12:20-26
Pray: Book of Common Prayer, The Collect for Tuesday of Holy Week

O Lord our God, whose blessed Son gave his back to be whipped and did not hide his face from shame and spitting: Give us grace to accept joyfully the sufferings of the present time, confident of the glory that shall be revealed; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

*Sunday Scripture readings are taken from Year A of the Book of Common Prayer 2019 (Anglican Church of North America). Daily Scripture readings are taken from the 1979 Book of Common Prayer and include both Morning and Evening Psalms (Year 1)

LentTamara Hill MurphyLent Daybook 2023, Holy Week 2023